No net :(

I've really been wanting to write..however.. (funny story) We've been "sharing" internet with nice people who decided to keep their internet unprotected..and they finally put a password on it.. and we are in the process of getting internet now... but anyways.. What I've been wanting to write about is this..Nicks not going to be here for his first Father’s Day.. Which doesn’t bother me too much because he gets to go on all expense paid vacation with his friend Justin.. And he really deserves it. He works so hard for our family and I don’t know anyone that deserves it more than he does. Our relationship has actually become quite better now. I don’t know what changed.. But I guess maybe I’ve relaxes a little and done everything in my power to take a step back from everything before getting mad over nothing.. We’ve also started talking a lot more. He’s been opening up to me more about Kylie and its made me feel..,. Like I wasn’t alone with all of this.. A while back we were standing in Academy and I said some remark about how he needed to work on his sleeping habits before we had another kid..Because he is the absolute worse at doing something and falling asleep.. And he just blew it off and made a joke about it. Which really bothered me... and in my heart... I knew it was just a joke and that he would never let what happened to Kylie happen again.. So a couple nights ago I finally got up the courage to talk to him about it .. and he cried.. And he said “Haley you know I would never ever let that happen again.. I just don’t like to talk about it.” Which I knew... and I don’t know why I felt the need to question him about something I knew he was only joking about.. but I did... And I can’t imagine what I would say if I were in his shoes.. So I felt really horrible.. I know that he is a great daddy and that Kylie would be so proud of everything he has done... and continues to do for us.. I’ve told him a million times that I will never ever blame him for what happened and I meant that.. I love him more than anything I appreciate everything he’s done for us.. and like I’ve said a thousand times.. I don’t know any other 19 year old guy who would do the things he’s done for us..